Everyone talks about leaving their mark on the world, we all want to leave something behind. In recent conversation with a friend she revealed that her biggest fear was in fact being forgotten. I can see how that can be frightening: memories fade and mementos perish. We forget each other no matter how resolutely we cling to the memory of that person. This is why I refuse to write about my last memory of Mr Troxler: I will not impose something as mundane as a shelf life on the impact such a man has had on me.
Legacy isn’t statues, monuments, businesses or wealth left to people; even the pyramids are just the residue of someone having merely existed. True legacy is what you see when you look around you at this memorial service and you realise that everyone here was compelled to be here because of what he meant to them. This is a legacy that will not die as we live our lives subsequent to knowing someone like Mr Troxler every day. He left his mark on how we live our lives, how we approach obstacles and how we treat others. He may not have gotten the chance to answer all our questions but I think he demonstrated in his behaviour how he would want us to find our own answers. In this way, as in many other ways, he actually has not left us. If there was ever a measure for someone’s value it would be in how they featured in the lives of the people around them. If that is the case then Douglas Troxler was, as Thomas so perfectly put it, a giant.
I always called him Mr Troxler. It was out of respect; he was the parent of my friend after all. But even as I grew older and got to know him more I still couldn’t bring myself to call him Douglas it just felt weird. He didn’t make his strength known in some obvious show of strength but rather in acts of generosity and kindness. This is real strength and warrants real respect. I think it was because that respect just grew with me that, even though I have come to consider him a dear friend, I always saw him as Mr Troxler. I am going to miss you so much Douglas. I already do my friend. But in so many ways you are and always will be with me. Such is your legacy.